I got this email from a friend this week and thought it was such a good question that we might like to explore it together.
I love writing on my blog, but unlike some people, I really dislike the social aspect of it mainly because it stresses me out. I feel like I don’t have time for that part of it. I also love reading other people’s blogs, but feel pressured to read so many a day, comment, follow-up, etc. in order to build a platform. I have read that commenting and responding to comments is important in order to build your platform. I do want a platform because I figure that if my writing’s not reaching people, then it’s not much of a ministry.
Anyway, do you have any suggestions about how to stay engaged in other people’s blogs, find time, build a platform, etc. when that’s not the part of blogging you love. I just love to read and write!
As someone who has ridden the social media roller coaster for a few years now I can say with all honesty that I often feel the exact same way as my friend above. In fact, one whole chapter of Notes to Aspiring Writers shares the story of what happened to me when I stepped onto the social media ride. Don’t get me wrong…social media has been good to me. As an Indie author, I wouldn’t have any platform at all without it. Twitter has brought me opportunities I would never have had otherwise and Facebook has given me a vibrant community of like-minded friends with similar goals and aspirations.
photo credit: stock.xchng
But sometimes I don’t love it.
Sometimes, I just want to write and not worry about posting links here or there, moderating comments, or entering keywords. But my friend above is right…if you have a heart to write for ministry to others, then “others” need to see what you’re writing. And if you’re self-published, you are going to have to do “platform-building” work at some point. At least some.
With that said, I also believe it’s important to note that God is sovereign over our platforms. I refuse to embrace the thought camp that says “if you build it, they will come.” I don’t believe that. What works for some, doesn’t work for others. Your sure-fire method of gaining followers and blog readers may work for your topic and niche, but it may scare people away from mine. That’s part of the reason Notes to Aspiring Writers is NOT a how-to book. God lifts up those He chooses to lift up. And His reasons for doing so belong to Him alone. You just can’t get away from it.
So what do you do if you find yourself hating social media and community-building more and more by the second? Here’s some food for thought:
1. Take a break. A TOTAL break. Don’t write, don’t blog, don’t tweet or facebook or answer emails for at least a week, if not two. Jeff Goins wrote an excellent piece on this very topic, explaining why writers need REST. It’s vital for your health and long-term commitment to your calling. Read it. Don’t be afraid that you’ll disappear if you take a week or two off. That attitude could mean that you think you’re too important 
2. Only comment on blogs that mean something to you. I tried commenting on every blog I could find for a while, and it does bring traffic your way. But I burned out on this quickly (I have two small kids that like to see their mama every once in a while!) Now I rarely leave comments. If I comment on your blog it’s because you’ve touched me deeply with your post and it’s ignited something in me (or it could be because I feel led to be a blessing to you that day…either one). Pick two blogs you love and comment on them once a week or whenever you’re really inspired by the author’s article and call it done.
3. Promote someone else. Tired of tooting your own horn all the time? There are seasons when you just have to get a message out. I’m in one now as I’m preparing for the next 21 Days of Prayer for Sons challenge, but if you’re not in that season, stop promoting yourself more than once a day and decide to promote others instead. And not just any others, but those who really inspire you. Those you would like to see succeed. Don’t have an agenda. Don’t do it because you want something in return. Just be a blessing.
4. Turn off your comments. I wrote an article after the 2010 Relevant Conference about how the Lord led me to turn mine off for a season at A Life in Need of Change. Maybe it will help you understand why this can be a good thing. I still turn mine off from time-to-time. It’s amazing how this one act can totally change your day.
5. Stop looking at your stats. Seriously…stop it. Take, dare I say it, a MONTH off from looking at your stats. Just walk away and decide you don’t care. You’ll have withdrawals for a week and then you’ll find that you really don’t care that much anymore. Really.
Try these tips on for size and see how they feel.
Do you have other suggestions for overcoming the social media beast? I would love to hear them in the comments below.
This caught my eye on Twitter, Brooke, because I have yet to even open up a Facebook account and I’m really not a social-media butterfly.
BUT…I do love to visit and comment on people’s blogs. I honestly don’t find that it brings me a lot of traffic at all, but I do it for two reasons.
First, it’s therapy for me. Seriously. Since I use to battle with negative and depressive thoughts, i find that one way to continue to think as Philippians 4:8 instructs us to do is to comment sincerely on the good, lovely, noble and pure that is written about.
Second, it because I had realized that most people don’t visit or interact with me even when I do comment on their blogs (just sayin) and it challenges me to give a comment without expecting one back.
That is hard for me since I prefer relational blogging that is give and take, but what good is it if I only do it just to receive something in return?!
I love the movement that happens every once in a while on twitter or facebook to motivate us to comment on each other’s blogs. And I have friends who spend a good deal of time each day intentionally doing this to encourage and lift up other writers/bloggers. Most of them have children who are in school, or just more free time than I do. And I think it’s great! I love how you’re challenging yourself to give with no expectation of anything in return. You’re on the right track Michelle. God will honor your heart in His own way.
Great post! I thought your points were excellent and well thought out. When we are blogging our faith, when it is a ministry or part of one, we are not only sharing God through what we write, but how we respond to those who comment and we can be blessed by them and be a blessing for them in how we respond. It’s not about the stats or the number of comments but the quality. I’m a big believer in social media as a tool – a tool that can help build relationships and communities but it, in of itself, is just at tool. We use it or abuse it but it is not alive, it is not in control. I tried blogging on a schedule but it felt like so much pressure, so now I blog when I’m inspired and when God leads me to what He wants me to write about. Bright blessings! Shanyn (Strawberry Roan)
Oh and I totally agree about supporting and promoting other bloggers and writers – it is a great way to hone those skills, to help another person and be a blessing.
It just gets your mind off of your own success, doesn’t it? It’s good to be a giver
Love this. I learned this from a session I attended w PW at BlogHer this year. Content, content, content, over SEO. She never has worked at it.
I think of Ann Voskamp at Relevant. No striving. Let God bring you what He will. Wise words.
Your post link caught my eye on Twitter because in 2006, after 2 years of building a very active blog, I walked away from blogging. Back then, blogging was the big social network thing to do. I can especially relate to the part about kids needing their mama. I spent HOURS commenting on everyone’s blog and was so (yes, I’ll say it) proud of how I was one of the top 3 commenters in a particular community. Ugh, what pride can do. God finally took hold of my heart–I was blogging for the wrong reasons. I walked away for 5 years from blogging. I’m back now, but only post an entry when I feel convicted to do so–mostly now for an online book club.
It’s funny to look back. We turned off tv because it was a time robber. Then I went to blogging, and it did the same thing. “Screen time” in moderation–even for grown ups!
I had no idea that was your story Michelle! Thank you for sharing it here…I feel like I know you better now
I think as moms, we CRAVE something that affirms us and gives us community. Getting away from that when it becomes addictive can be HARD. But the Lord’s plans are always better.
I agree with you except about turning off comments. I think it would be better to still allow them but to put a comment at the end of a non-interaction post saying something like, “I’m not interacting with your comments on this one, because I’m overloaded with life at the moment, but please, add your thoughts!” That will allow the post to be enriched by others’ expansions on your idea, and you won’t have to agonize about your part.
If the post is controversial (like Elizabeth Esther’s post about Donald Miller), by all means leave the comments off, unless you have time and energy to interact.
That’s a great thought Paul. Thanks for suggesting it! For me, there was a specific season where I just knew the Lord was leading me to turn them off. But that’s not for everyone…
Sometimes turning off comments isn’t a “season,” but a topical thing. Controversy is not necessarily a good platform-builder. (I’ve got more to say on that, but I’ll do that in a separate comment, because I feel led to do just that.) For example, one well-known author & blogger had to turn off comments on posts relating to her divorce; too many people preferred telling her how wrong she was to have done that or allowed it rather than support her & love her.
Brooke, thank you for helping with this!!! Your ideas are really helpful!
I love the idea of promoting others. I find that I read the same blogs over and over again and a lot of them are the “big blogs”. If I see that it already has like 84 comments then I won’t comment. I guess this shows my true intention – to get something in return (embarrassingly enough to say). How do you or did you “blog hop”? Do you try to find new blogs or just stick to the same ones? I wish there was an option to thank people for following or commenting that was more automated, but so that I could recognize people. I feel bad about not recognizing people.
Also, I liked the comment from Paul about just saying that you won’t be responding this go around. I don’t think that would offend people.
One more thought, I haven’t thought that commenting, following up, etc. has really helped bring readers to my site. But I think that’s maybe because I don’t read and comment enough because everything I read says this is what I need to be doing.
Thank you again for your time and advice!!
Brenda
Thanks Brenda…I use the Pulse App on my iPhone to keep up with my favorite blogs…maybe 6-7 of them. I don’t like readers, and my email is crazy enough without adding email subscriptions. The only email subscriptions I have are to blogs I cannot afford to miss…maybe 3 total. The Pulse App is great because it allows me to scan titles and decide if I want to read them or not. And if I don’t, there’s no deleting or anything of old posts…it doesn’t get cluttered or full.
Aside from that, I scan twitter 2-3 times a day and Facebook. Usually 1-2 articles will catch my eye. And that’s it!
I’ve never heard of the Pulse App, but I am RUNNING to get it! Need to simplify and de-clutter my brain!
These are great tips. Especially if you already have a platform. Part of the reason the social media can be a beast for me is because I don’t know how to use it, and it’s especially difficult for me to tie them all together. I enjoy commenting on other blogs (and I don’t think it’s so much for the return visit…I just enjoy interacting) but on the other hand….. receiving comments (or the lack of) does cause me anxiety….I think it even radiates to the boys as they see how excited I get when I get a new comment, subscriber, or follower…..(it’s kinda sad I think)
It’s a tough act to balance….I’m learning as I go…Thanks again for sharing your wisdom!
Any more suggestions for those who are new to it all???
Here’s a thought…what if, in some alternate universe, we only commented on blogs that spoke to us deeply? Instead of feeling the pressure to comment all the time, we might actually build relationships with people and our comments would mean something to them. It might also change the tide of blogging. Bigger bloggers might get fewer comments and smaller bloggers might get more…thus making everyone feel useful and that their time spent online was worth something.
Just a thought
Brooke, that’s precisely what I do. It may not be helping me “build my platform” for the novel I self-published (more on a lark than anything) or the more serious book God has me working on, but that’s OK. I’d rather read 3-4 comments that have something to say than several dozen “me, too” types of things.
That extends to responding to comments. I know there’s quite a bit of disagreement on this, but I don’t feel comfortable with mechanical “thank you” replies to every comment I post, so I don’t tend to do them to commenters.
As someone else said, quality over quantity.
Brooke, your post has spoken to me at such a perfect time. I love the writing aspect of blogging, but the rest of the whole social media package has me burned out. I am no good at “kissing up” (for lack of a better term) and I feel that this is what is happening all around me. I see it on Twitter, and it is hard to know who is truly God led and who is self-led. I feel as if the devil lurks in the online world a whole lot, just knowing we all fall prey to self promotion.
I am taking each of your suggestions to heart, and I especially appreciate taking an online break, and also just commenting on a few blogs that really speak to you.
Again, you have no idea how I needed your words of wisdom tonight. Thank you for blessing me.
You hit on so many great things here. The great publishing buzzword nowadays is “platform,” yet there aren’t enough platforms to go around. After all, isn’t a “platform” really a form of advertising or one-upmanship? Consider This: if people who have some dedication to writing have a hard time following the “platforms” of others, then so will those whom we want to reach.
I suspect there are numerous books in the world that will never be written, no matter how much they should be or need to be, simply because people are scared off by the notion of having to do their own advertising. The only reason my National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) novel got published is because CreateSpace gave all those who made 50,000 words in the month a code for a free proof copy, and from there you can get on Amazon for free. What will I do with the nonfiction church-related book(s) God has given me to write? I’ll let you know once I find out.
I’ve had to become convinced of one thing, though: I’m going to write, no matter whose rules I break. When God gives me something to post on my blog, I do it. When I don’t have anything, I don’t. Does that lose me followers? According to many, it does. Sorry, but that’s their problem. There’s enough, even too much, drivel out there for folks to follow as it is. I’m not going to add to it.
Preach it brother! I love what you’ve said. Do we believe in God’s sovereignty or don’t we? Do we believe that He will make of us what He wants us to be or that we have to do it all by our bootstraps?
Amen!
I struggle with this SO much. Until I became recently unemployed
I had a very strict budget of time for the Internet which meant I wasn’t online much and posted on Twitter, FB, other blogs very infrequently. I tried to make the rounds off the blogs that move me to tears or bring deep conviction and joy.
I’m trying to find a way to balance my sudden free time with being productive and responsible around the home, but also take my writing/blog seriously and learn how to grow a vibrant community there. Struggling a little bit with balance and exactly what to do, so I love your thoughts here!
Another aspect is that I pour ALL of me into every single post. It is hard to deal with the **crickets** on some posts that I hope will resonate with others. It’s not a “I want high stats” thing at all, I just want to reach and know if I am resonating so I know what to do or not do going forward.
Any ideas?
xo,
Lindsey
I totally understand where you’re coming from Lindsey. I’m the same way at A Like in Need of Change (or really anywhere). Writing usually takes a lot out of me and the crickets used to be hard to handle. But then after listening to Ann Voskamp last year at Relevant the Lord really moved in my heart that I was writing for Him and Him alone. And audience of one. That’s part of why I turned off my comments for a season…so I had no idea who might’ve commented and there were no crickets. I also completely stopped checking my stats during that season.
Being obedient to that calling (not for everyone) brought me to where I am now. I still get crickets sometimes but I honestly am not bothered by it anymore. I’m trusting God to get my post in front of the audience He has for it and to leave it at that.
Does that help?
When I first started blogging, I would indulge in the ” blogging break.” I needed to rest and be present in life which meant blogging wasn’t my priority. While I read lots of blogs, I comment on very few now just because I need the time to write, to live. Love your practical advice.
I just came over from Muthering Heights, and I thought I would let you know that I appreciated this post. I especially like #2 about only leaving comments on blogs that mean something to me. I try to do that; otherwise, I think you can tell from my comment that I don’t really care.
This is really a great post. I have definitely been noticing the importance of a break from caring and working to build a platform. You are so right about how we may feel we are too important to step away. When we are putting our trust in God He is bigger than anything we could ever do to build a platform. I love your way of thinking, and agree with your statement that not everything works for everyone. Each platform is as unique as the person building it.
So glad I found this post. Thank you!!
Hi Brooke,
I am relatively new to writing and blogging, (and social media) because God has called me to all 3! Yikes! Not knowing where to begin when God just says to me, “Go and write”….has been, at times. very overwhelming!
I feel like a blessed woman to have found this site. Thanks for using your gifts and pouring out your life for His glory. You have ministered to another sister in the Lord.
P.S. I’m a mom of 2 boys as well.
Blessings,
jolene engle
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